/g/ - Technology




If the world dependet on it, couldn’t Biden have ordered the Army Corps of Engineers

to take care of this within 12hrs from occurence?
>>1470135(OP)
just build a new canal around it
>>1470135(OP)
I'm not doing anything rn, just give me a plane ticket and I'll push it
Just blow it up with a missile
Fuck em
Anon they'd have to ask for help. This is a sovereign nation.
>>1470135(OP)
It's not really a US problem.

The Brits and the French built it and the Egyptians nationalised it.
The countries and companies being affected would excavate it out and widen the area in a day if they were given the permission.
its allways said about xx% of worldtrade.
but its mostly important for europe and thexx%
of trade from to europe is much higher.

this wont affect much usa. this wwont effect russia. this wont afffect india and other countries who lay before suez. it mostly effects europe.
>>1470135(OP)
Probably low yield explosives on the shallows placed such that after they get blown off, the weight of the ship cuts through where it's on.
why don't they just unload the boat and destroy it? If it's causing this much of a financial loss it'd be worth it
>>1470135(OP)
Why is this our responsibility? Fuck off krout kike jogger. We have a canal and guess what? It fucking works.
can't they just sink it?
>>1470135(OP)
MORE WOMEN, MORE JEWS, MORE JOGGERS AND MORE LADYBOYS, MORE DIVERSITY

>T. GLOBOHOMO INC
>>1470135(OP)
>to take care of this within 12hrs from occurence?
Lol, the US army is nothing but a joke, you really believe they would solve this “within 12 hrs”?
Actually the Navy is sending a team- I read that on the SPY news stock ticket today while trading.
>>1470135(OP)
Why should America foot the bill, or care? It isn't the Panama canal. If anything, it helps America and hurts China.
Tbh USA maritime engineering/dredging sector is kinda shit. Smit is probably a good call for a solution.
>>1470135(OP)
1. Eliminate CHICOM back door computer chips.
2. Grow some balls.
3. Eradicate the problem.
>>1470135(OP)
Bomb the boat, then bomb Cairo, impose a new 'democratic' regime that exists to grab as much money as it can before the Americans stop propping it up, and suck Israel's circumsized cock.
That sounds like Superman's response time.
Why does it matter? Why should we care?
You telling me whole world economy will die because of one blocked canal?
>>1470135(OP)
ASKING FOR ADVICE BAD

Bunch of retarded and incompetent refugees.
>>1470135(OP)
Joe offered, but the shippers cartel refused to pay Hunter's 100 million dollar consultation fee.
>>1470135(OP)
Not your personal army fucking glow joggers. I hope someone takes advantage of this and fucks up global trade somewhere else maybe then we can see some real fireworks.
>>1470135(OP)
We've already offered dozens of legit solutions
Let them figure it out.
>>1470135(OP)
The Suez Canal is not our problem. Also the ground that excavator is standing on is too wet to hold 20 of them. They weigh more than car (bicycle).
1. remove all containers
2. flood the canal
3. tug boats

why is this so hard?
>>1470135(OP)
Pull it out with this
>>1470135(OP)
Just do what they do with all beached whales. Blow it up
>>1470135(OP)
Biden can’t put in close to 8 hours a day and he’s still a retard on peak performance mode.
Very simple fix. Just let the air out of the tires
>>1470135(OP)
get a fleet of zeppelins to fly it out of there.
fuck no. Not our problem this is a Eurocuck problem.
>>1470135(OP)
>take jews
>Put them in camps
>Gas them for real
>Unstuck boat
Problem solved
>>1470135(OP)
use explosives to blow it up.
Melt the ship with jewish space lazers
>>1470135(OP)
I emailed the faggot. Just gutteral insults, homophobia, and autistic screeching
Best bet is probably to let Asians deal with it they tear down and replace bridges in hours I'm sure they can have that thing moved and rebuilt in a few days.
You just hit the nail OP, They crashed the ship on purpose and are leaving it stuck because this is just another tick off of their agenda calendar and more economic warfare.
>>1470135(OP)
First problem is weight!
Solution, 4 sky crane helicopters removing all deck cargo!
Second they need some serious horsepower e.i earth movers attached to rear end to put it in towards the bow side of canal!
>>1470135(OP)
>letting 3rd world shitholes run critical infrastructure or handle priceless artifacts because of marxist tricks

is there anything white people love more than giving away power
>>1470135(OP)
Since heavy machinery will be hard to operate due to the terrain, the best bet is to use the pliability of the sand to your advantage. First, I would wash out the area and fluidize the sand with high pressure hoses and some high power pumps. If this didn't do the trick in and of itself, the only move would be to use smooth semi-inflatable cushions to reduce drag and increase lift threaded under the hull, being manipulated as said cushions are inflated by tugs and towing winches. This would be tricky due to the heavy load the ship is carrying. Would probably be a good idea to take a day and remove the containers before doing any of this beforehand, via a couple of other ships, and a pair of crane barges pulled up to either side of the suez boat to unload it.

Anyway, the point is, this is not a hard problem to fix. The fact that it's not fixed yet is a far, far more interesting topic of conversation.
>>1470135(OP)
>this situation isn't quite fucked enough for my liking, let's get the American government involved

American gov incompwtence and hubris is why it took so long to cap the macondo well after deepwater horizon (I know people who worked on it). I would recommend calling private companies who deal in these sorts of matters. Heerema corporation for starters.
>>1470135(OP)
honestly the easy way to fix it is to tow it (drag it) the opposite way out of the mud with superior force. may take many force multipliers... but it has to be dragged out of the mud and back straight so it can continue.
>>1470135(OP)
1st wait until socio economic collapse of egypt.
2nd israel buy sinai and suez
3rd israel nukes ship
4st profitss *rabbing_hands*
>>1470135(OP)
It happened after Trump left office, so Biden is unable to fix it. He can however blame Trump, and add a trillion dollars to his infrastructure bill to aid the young and developing Egyptian nation by widening the canal to 5 miles. It would racist and pharoahphobic if Americans object to this.
just bring the F150, should fix it.
Unironically blow it the fuck up. Pull the debris outta the water.
>>1470135(OP)
>1. Unload all cargo and equipment from the ship
>2. Drain all fuel.
>3. Use construction vehicles to clear the area out.
>4. Line up ship to push starboard bow.
>5. Line up another ship to push port stern.
>6. Have salvage ships ready in case of shit hitting the fan, which they probably will, but it's better than the blockage.

You're welcome.
>>1470135(OP)
>dependet
I've noticed misspelled words on here becoming common. Are people becoming more stupid or is this some sort of tactic to get replies?
>>1470135(OP)
Hire some joggers and women.
>>1470135(OP)
I'd be using confiscated suicide bombs to blow the sides of the canal wider enabling the beached vessel to make a turn to port, opening the canal for further traffic.

There has to be loads of suicide vests.
>>1470135(OP)
>get shitloads of tnt
>blow 200m of new sea lane to by pass this ship
>no need to be stable just enough to last 5-10 weeks
>>1470135(OP)
drop the entire worlds nuclear payload on israel to cause a tectonic plate shift to widen the canal and allow the boat to back up
Blow it the fuck up and scoop the remains out the water
>>1470135(OP)
Here's what you do
>call venice
>hello venice, we hear you got summa dem mobile dams
>can we borrow ze dams for a couple of days pls?
>si si, muy carlito
>transport portable dams from venice to suez
>put them in place on each side of the ship and thus close it off
>pump water into the closed off area
>ship comes free
>move ship out on deeper water where it won't get stuck again once dams are removed
>transport mobile dams back to venice
>very grazie mr. venice
>si si, no problema amigofrens
>>1470135(OP)
Unironically, the only thing they can do is dig around it and offload some of the weight. If they dig under it like they are trying to do, the weight will just keep sinking it. It's run ashore. You have to either raise the boat or dig under the buoyancy. Which I assume is the top of that red stripe deep unloaded lmao. Better start calling a cargo container helicopter company for quotes. This is what you get for letting women drive ships.
>>1470135(OP)
fire.turn that sand to glass with flamethrowers and boat slide back into the water.profit.
Nuke it
>>1470135(OP)
>Problem happening in Egypt impacting Europe and China and places we don't give much of a fuck about
>Biden should do something about this

No, shut up
>>1470135(OP)
Americans would shoot it until it sank, then shrug their shoulders when ships couldn't get past the wreck.
>>1470135(OP)
>the jews can get joggers to your doorstep daily
>can't get a ship out of the way carrying goods
Can somevody submit "change name to USS liberty and wait for Israels move". Thank you
I'd do something totally outrageous, like get a second digger.
>>1470135(OP)
Give me one good reason why this would not work. This is the obvious way to remove the ship from premises. I can't fathom why this has not been proposed and started already, are the Egyptians all brainlets?

They have thousands of tanks, time to do something useful with them!
Trump would have had that thing out on Wednesday
>>1470135(OP)
Put enough explosives in it that the blast would make the debris out of the canal and let the insurance company that covered it go broke. If it required a prolonged clean up afterwards, fuck it. At least we'd have an end point.
Let joggers loot and dismantle it. It'll all be gone in 7 days
>>1470135(OP)
Exterminate the jews.
>>1470135(OP)
step one: send two somewhat small empty container ships with big cranes on deck to start unloading the No Fucks Ever Given to lighten (and get the goods enroute).

One on each side, North and South.

While that is going on, have any tugboats in area tie to the NFEG bow and stern and run their engines to blast water at the sand where NFEG is stuck. Many tugs also have big fire hose pumps so also use those to blast sand to free ship.

Bring in some Jolly Green Giant heliocopers to take boxes off and set on shore. Tie couple of heroes to the helio so they are riding the boxes on the very short trip from ship to shore and all they do is each put two hooks on each box and away it goes. Should be able to off load 20 boxes a minute each helio. As this is happening convoy of trucks enroute to load boxes on to RR to meet at port in Egypt on Med to reload once ship in lightened and freed.

This shit is easy.

Any other problems you want to solve?
>>1470135(OP)
The US did this. Its a shot across the bow at Asian, but we can't let it be traced back.
>>1470135(OP)
Empty the ballasts, cut the ship in half widthwise or smaller pieces, tow it in pieces out. May have to helicopter some of the cargo off to do the ballast trick.
>>1470135(OP)
Offload 40% of the cargo so the ship floats high enough to get ungrounded.
>>1470135(OP)
If it ran aground, it can be pulled off.
Some many container joggers are dead right now. If I knew there were women on the ship I'd just let em out and let the crew fuck em
>>1470135(OP)
Its too fucked. This will take month.
>>1470135(OP)
i know how to do this the cheapest and most efficient way but im not getting paid for solving this problem so fuck off
>>1470135(OP)
Anyone got airbags that can lift 200,000 tons? If you do place them under and on the sides to lift it out.
>>1470135(OP)
Strap like 10 spacex rockets to it and send that bitch to mars where it can be scrapped for parts.

Duh
Can they not just tug the bastard out after they dig it out of the bank?
>>1470135(OP)
Sap the canal. Dig a tunnel underneath, set small charges to collapse the tunnel. Immediately fills with water, ship loosens up, heavy tugs to drag it the rest of the way free.
Short of that, dismantling the entire ship is the most effective means and may end up being the solution as it's too big to just sink and if the keel is too deeply dug into the clay, dismantling is the only option.
>inb4 no way
It takes the USN less than 6 months to rip apart, refit, and rebuild a ship on a lazy 9-5. Working 24/7 with enough laborers, the entire ship could be torn apart in less than a month.
Navy CBs come in, build a makeshift dock to unload the cargo. Takes less than a week. Closer to 3 days for the CBs. From there, the ship is dismantled down to the hull, engine, and a few other necessary ops, which significantly lightens the hull, which will raise itself from the water.
Once enough of the ship is dismantled and unloaded, the buoyancy will do the majority of the work of getting her unstuck, itself. Once it's floating again, tug her out.
>t. Separated US Navy O-4
>>1470135(OP)
>Army corps of engineers
Oh mah gahd ze elite engineers fixa everthinga semper primitivum
Fagget.
just nuke it
Take some Chicago joggers and they will steal that shit in no time
>>1470135(OP)
They should have started unloaded containers via heavy lift helicopters on day one. Drop them in a big fucking pile, unless they're full of fucking gold bullion they are not worth one extra second of the ship sitting there.
There should have been multiple high powered tugs there within an hour, not those little dipshit tugs they have.
Instead of a single fucking excavator they should have several, men with shovels, and one of those boats that can suck up silt from the bottom.
This incompetent slow as fuck response from the Egyptians is inexcusable considering how much trade flows through there and how much money they make off the fucking thing, that was handed to them.
It's fucking embarrassing. The US should annex that canal.
>>1470135(OP)
id blow it up.